'Lena came for
a visit day before yesterday and was here all day long. She was a
bratty joy, as usual. Kept busy and smiling, full of hugs and laughter,
conversation and giggles, questions and kisses. I don't think I'd
spent a happier day in months upon months. Around 230 in the afternoon
she came to me all cranky, carrying her blankie, clinging to my skirts,
"Gwamma, I weally need a gwammanap! Can you gimme one? ... pweeze!"
So I gave her my hand and she gently put her tiny fingers inside mine and we trailed off to my room. We put in a movie that we missed entirely, can't even remember what it was, and snuggled up under the covers. She curled up right next to me under my arm, sucking her thumb and fell right to sleep mumbling,
"I love you so much Gwamma! I weally miss Gwampa tho, I wish he sweeped wif us 'sted 'o the moon."
And then she was sleeping. Not moments later, so was I. Then in my sleep the GreenMan came, bringing with him joy and tears and sorrow.
We were all, Joe, and I and all the girls and their boyfriends and the kids were sitting at the table sharing dinner. His favorite, pasta with all the fixin's, meatballs, sausage, thick red sauce, garlic toast, olive oil for dipping, there was chianti in glasses. I was a fine Italian feast just the way he loved it. Everyone was talking and laughing and lightly arguing, as our family is wont to do. He was smiling and so happy, standing and refilling glasses, passing dishes. I can't remember the last time I'd seen him so happy He even had his front teeth back that got knocked out at work when a 250lb box slipped off the steel when he was putting up stock one day and it fell onto his face.
I was watching him and thinking how really strong and beautiful he is. How thick and shining his hair and beard were, how beautiful, just beautiful his hands were. Just like my Grandfather's hands were so many years ago. He sat down to his plate and I caught his hand. I swear, it was warm and living in mine. I rubbed the skin with my thumb feeling the thickness again, not the boniness of ill health. He was a living man again, in my hands. I could feel myself begin to breathe again, like a glass breaking and icy water spilling out onto the floor, free and rushing out all at once. He's here, again!
"O, I miss you! I miss you so much! Where have you been?"
"I miss you too honey! Don't worry, I'm okay" he smiled at me with those beautiful hazel blue eyes twinkling at me.
Then he lifted my hand and kissed my knuckles with a whisper soft kiss. He turned over my hand, spread open my palm and lay his whiskered cheek in my hand slowly turning his face till his lips touched my palm, tenderly placed a kiss there too. This is how he always kissed me, all our life together. So soft, so tender, so romantically sweet.
Then after a time we had an after dinner smoke outside in the dooryard. We stood in the cool air. Looking at the dark sky, the beautiful shining stars, the big beautiful nearly full moon, breathing in the scent of blooming jasmine, gardenia, and honeysuckle. We held hands and stood together, leaning our shoulders together. Enough time must've passed, though forever is too short a time for me, because he turned to me and pulled me close hugging me hard. He pushed my hair back from my face, kissed my forehead, my eyes, my cheeks and finally my lips. Such a loving, sweet, lover's kiss we might've shared 27yrs ago. I began to cry, because I knew. I asked him,
"Please, stay. Can't you stay? I need you so. I love you!"
He said,
"I love you. I'll see you 'round, don't you worry. You'll be fine."
Then he turned, trailing my hand, and disappeared in the scent of blooming jasmine, gardenia and honeysuckle.
I woke to 'Lena wiping my tears telling me,
"It's okay Gwamma, we will see Gwampa agin. He visits me awda time! You don't hafta cwy."
So, my little Angel brings my GreenMan to visit.
"Gwamma, I weally need a gwammanap! Can you gimme one? ... pweeze!"
So I gave her my hand and she gently put her tiny fingers inside mine and we trailed off to my room. We put in a movie that we missed entirely, can't even remember what it was, and snuggled up under the covers. She curled up right next to me under my arm, sucking her thumb and fell right to sleep mumbling,
"I love you so much Gwamma! I weally miss Gwampa tho, I wish he sweeped wif us 'sted 'o the moon."
And then she was sleeping. Not moments later, so was I. Then in my sleep the GreenMan came, bringing with him joy and tears and sorrow.
We were all, Joe, and I and all the girls and their boyfriends and the kids were sitting at the table sharing dinner. His favorite, pasta with all the fixin's, meatballs, sausage, thick red sauce, garlic toast, olive oil for dipping, there was chianti in glasses. I was a fine Italian feast just the way he loved it. Everyone was talking and laughing and lightly arguing, as our family is wont to do. He was smiling and so happy, standing and refilling glasses, passing dishes. I can't remember the last time I'd seen him so happy He even had his front teeth back that got knocked out at work when a 250lb box slipped off the steel when he was putting up stock one day and it fell onto his face.
I was watching him and thinking how really strong and beautiful he is. How thick and shining his hair and beard were, how beautiful, just beautiful his hands were. Just like my Grandfather's hands were so many years ago. He sat down to his plate and I caught his hand. I swear, it was warm and living in mine. I rubbed the skin with my thumb feeling the thickness again, not the boniness of ill health. He was a living man again, in my hands. I could feel myself begin to breathe again, like a glass breaking and icy water spilling out onto the floor, free and rushing out all at once. He's here, again!
"O, I miss you! I miss you so much! Where have you been?"
"I miss you too honey! Don't worry, I'm okay" he smiled at me with those beautiful hazel blue eyes twinkling at me.
Then he lifted my hand and kissed my knuckles with a whisper soft kiss. He turned over my hand, spread open my palm and lay his whiskered cheek in my hand slowly turning his face till his lips touched my palm, tenderly placed a kiss there too. This is how he always kissed me, all our life together. So soft, so tender, so romantically sweet.
Then after a time we had an after dinner smoke outside in the dooryard. We stood in the cool air. Looking at the dark sky, the beautiful shining stars, the big beautiful nearly full moon, breathing in the scent of blooming jasmine, gardenia, and honeysuckle. We held hands and stood together, leaning our shoulders together. Enough time must've passed, though forever is too short a time for me, because he turned to me and pulled me close hugging me hard. He pushed my hair back from my face, kissed my forehead, my eyes, my cheeks and finally my lips. Such a loving, sweet, lover's kiss we might've shared 27yrs ago. I began to cry, because I knew. I asked him,
"Please, stay. Can't you stay? I need you so. I love you!"
He said,
"I love you. I'll see you 'round, don't you worry. You'll be fine."
Then he turned, trailing my hand, and disappeared in the scent of blooming jasmine, gardenia and honeysuckle.
I woke to 'Lena wiping my tears telling me,
"It's okay Gwamma, we will see Gwampa agin. He visits me awda time! You don't hafta cwy."
So, my little Angel brings my GreenMan to visit.
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